Tuesday, January 31, 2006

The Lighter Side of Mortgage Refinancing

I think that at least one company that's been a part of this whole annoying flash pop-up fiasco they call "advertising" on the web is worthy of note, one company that's consistently gotten my attention for several months now is LowerMyBills.com.

For months now they've assailed me and my browser with falling percentage signs spewing from clouds, running from stomping sasquatches, shooting from the flaming mouths of dragons, falling like feathers from a pink flamingo, and, just recently, streaming from the six-string guitar of a pudgy green demon like satanic musical notes.


Oh Noes, The Mortage Demon! 2%, WTF, Somebody Call My Broker

These percent signs, with their attached implicit interest rates floating next to them, 5s, 4s, 3s, and even 2%, catch the eye. A flashing "Mortage Rates Hit Record Lows!" draws you to the drop-down box for the state your property is in, conviently pre-populated with the current hot spot, the overbloated white head on the entire real estate pimple, California.

Today, I decided to check it out, and dared to click.

Their website has no dragons. No flamingoes. No bears, bigfoots, demons or dancers. Nothing light, funny, animated or amusing.

Just pictures of happy couples doing the thing couples dream of, I guess: their budget. No strained faces, either, or beads of sweat betraying the unwelcome possibility that little Johnny's going to have to go to public school this year, with its metal detectors and subsidized lunches...

They had the oh-so-outre "As Seen on TV" logo, though, which is its own brand of comedy these days considering the only things daring enough to be "As Seen on TV" have to do with your hair, your penis, or Ron Popeil.

Even a thirty-square-pixel thumbnail image of the website's founder - who promises that LowerMyBills.com is "trusted by 4 million Americans" - graced the page, right over on the right-hand pane of the top half where you get to put in how much debt you have - a drop-down box lists the most popular circles of consumer credit hell.

I'm not afraid to say that this whole setup screams "Predatory Lending", and I'm also not afraid - maybe just a little disappointed - to note that it's not the only one out there, and, should the bubble continue to remain inflated into this new year, and should unqualified borrowers continue to have unrealistic dreams of homeownership, we'll all be seeing more percent signs dropping like swirling snow from Internet heaven.

And they'll all be leading back to the same scam, with millions of Americans just one click away from digging themselves another six feet deeper into debt, committing financial suicide for themselves, their children, and their country. Is it any wonder savings rates are as low as they were in the Great Depression?

God Bless America.

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

The Five Minutes I Was Saved Today

And speaking of five-minute slices, I just want to send out one more kudos-post to the Visual Studio 2005 folks.

I used the "Publish Project" feature today.

That Click Once deployment thing is awesome. My tools will work on other people's machines on the network and I don't have to write an installer. It knows all the DLL dependencies, it knows the release type, it knows where to put the shortcuts and everything.

Amazing. I love you guys.


Five-Minute Slices, The Future of Your Free Time

I don't see our future in productivity, at least not the immediate future, being dominated by inventions that radically restructure the way we spend our major time blocks in any 24-hour day.

At least, not formally. Example: I spent the last eight hours working. That's never changed radically for any length of time since I've been alive. Productivity's never cut that measuring stick down, and neither has either side in the worker's rights argument, management or labor.

And that makes sense, of course - the more you can do, the more they want you to do to be competitive. The more they want you to do, the more you innovate to do it quicker, rinse and repeat, back to 8 hours.

But, if you look atomically, at slices of five minutes a piece or so, you'll find me doing things differently in those five minutes than I have done in years past.

  • I'm writing from a small-form laptop that can fit between my lap and the steering wheel while I wait to catch dinner with my girlfriend. 5 minutes.
  • I check my work email at 8:00 PM from my Exchange-enabled phone. 5 minutes.
  • I check blogs at home when cooking, or on the road with my phone, getting my "newspaper" fix digitally, contextually, with information I've signed up to receive. 5 minutes.
  • I'm listening to music with a tiny iPod Nano whenever I walk from place to place in any length that'll take - you guessed it - 5 minutes.

We're obviously all not as pathetically addicted as I am about all this technology stuff, so I don't imagine all of this will take off right away, but the battle is already halfway won in the most advanced, most widespread, most virulent personal gadget in the future arsenal: your cell phone. And if it's not exactly the platform, the paradigm will be the same.

In five minutes. In your pocket. Always on. Anywhere.

I consider the battle for our technological future to be a set of incremental advancements in the "5-minute slice". We'll all still work 8 hour days, we'll all still have our sleep time, our home time, our vacation time; these are blocks too big to move.

But the changes, they'll come, and they'll change how you spend those five minutes you'd sit around, the five minutes you'd spend staring at the ceiling or tapping your toes. The future has your idle moments in its sights and none of them are getting out alive.

This gradual progress will, of course, be punctuated by gigantic hype machines spinning out of control promising a more vibrant, more radical future that looks like that jetpack train-to-the-moon-thing Jules Verne went on about, but no matter how much the talking heads screech, I know it won't truly surface without the tiny, 5 minute steps it'll take to walk there. With our iPods, of course.


Monday, January 23, 2006

Blocked In China

My reporter in the field sent in the report just a few minutes ago:

the-agent.net is blocked in China.

For whatever reason, the Chinese government doesn't like what I write. So they blocked me. You can't reach my page if you're in China outside of Hong Kong.

That is awesome for reasons I can't explain to you if you don't already get it.

Think it's even worthy of a t-shirt.

P.S. Free Tibet! Or Taiwan or whatever

Uncertain Investments, 401(k)

But Klinger, at Responsible Wealth, thinks that the uncertainties of investing in a 401(k) plan are worse [than pensions]. "It turns a secure retirement into an uncertain retirement. People might be better off if the market soars. Or else the market might stumble along."

Worse? I don't get it, Klinger. IBM, Alcoa, United Airlines...between 1985 and 2004, over 80,000 United States companies have cut pensions. That's 73%, almost three-quarters of the defined-benefit plans that were in service in 1985. Gone. That's not secure, that's out to dry. 401(k) plans aren't "worse". At this point, even with a pessimistic forecast of 4%, their future on the whole would look better than pension plans that build and build and then suddenly decide not to pay.

These pension-shedding companies have been acting like high-risk small-caps to their employees, sometimes paying the money they promise, other times flaming dead out. I'm not sure where people get their notions of corporations providing "security", but that's not the nature of the market, no matter how many fluffy layers you try to put on top of it.

Roughly 29,000 of these plans remain, down from 112,000 in 1985. The surviving plans tend to be large -- most of the decline has come at small employers -- and are concentrated in older, unionized industries such as the auto industry.

The numbers just don't work for me. The larger of a market you can get behind - try for example the wealth of companies trading on NYSE - instead of a smaller market (the profit success of the company you work for, essentially) - the more inertia that market will transfer to your balance, and the more resilient your retirement balance will be to individual-firm based downturns that might well force the individual firm to drop their own pension plans, leaving their workers out cold.

Money talks. If people want to turn this thing around, go for it. Me - I'm socking my money into the larger markets. Companies can't save your retirement. Only you can.


Sunday, January 22, 2006

NFC Champions

Dear NFL:

Carolina = pWned.

See you in Detroit.

Love,
The Seattle Seahawks

P.S. Sit down, Paul Allen

Saturday, January 21, 2006

No Women's Wearhouse: The Gender Gap

Geli brought up an interesting point at the mall this evening.

Women's fashion is coordinated into three major distribution channels: department stores, boutiques, and Wal-Mart (and its ilk). In none of the three do women get help with sizing, tailoring, or alterations. Nobody comes out with the chalk and marks your ass like they do for men at nearly all boutiques.

The initial thought I had at the time was - man, why don't they do that for women? Don't women need tailoring sometimes? Especially professional women?

My first model impulse was the shining example of the mid-range tailoring outfit for men: The Men's Wearhouse.

George Zimmer saw a mid-range market for men that wanted to dress for business opportunities but didn't have the cash to be a part of the Savoy Row market of expensive business clothing. You go to the Men's Wearhouse, they lay measuring tape down your spine, chalk up the back of your pants, send it to a central altering facility, and there's your tailored suit three days later.

It happens often enough that there's a market. Mid-range professional men.

Why not the same for women?

Geli provided a possibility: no market. As in - the women that are truly professional go to a specialized women's tailor, the high-end kind, the super-professional variety that cost an arm and a leg. And everyone else can't afford tailoring, because any other woman that's trying to look successful is a secretary, clerk, or similar low-paid worker.

The implication: no female middle-class due to the gender pay gap, as evidenced by no market sufficient enough in mid-level profesional attire tailoring for women to allow a store of that kind (think The Women's Wearhouse) to flourish.

My own counterpoint would be a little more apocryphal - I think women simply don't have tailors, period. Why? Who knows. Ever since they stopped using maids, women have done all the fashion shopping for themselves and their men, so they probably have rejected tailoring as something they want or need, since their ability to judge their own looks in clothing, etc, is a point of some pride.

What's the real story? Why no Women's Wearhouse?


Thursday, January 19, 2006

Great Quote About the European Union

Just as Europeans were once eager to keep the rest of the world divided, so we should not lament the failure of a Brussels-based superstate to emerge as much more than a costly red-tape dispenser.

From How Many Divisions Has the Caliph?

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Cell Marketing Boycotts Won't Work - Try Countervailing Power

MobHappy's Oliver Starr posted a prediction that location-based spam will be the latest threat to privacy-concerned mobile citizens that really don't want to hear about the latest Burger King "King-Kong-Dong-Sized" Whopper when they're out with their date.

In short, the GPS that comes in that brand-new mobile phone you bought will be used to pinpoint your location against a remote database of commercial locations. Your proximity to shops, etc, will be used to send you targeted, location-specific advertisements that will bug you at every opportunity, wasting your time, your cellphone bandwidth, and your brain cells.

I agree wholeheartedly with Oliver that this is a no-good proposition for people concerned about not getting a load of marketing flotsam dumped all over their head like an NFL coach every time they walk past an Arby's.

What I don't agree with is his solution: boycott companies that try to hit you with mobile location-based spam. That doesn't work. Boycotts haven't worked since the 60's.

Look, I'm running short on time over here so I need to make this simple, but the main argument I have against privacy-related boycotts is that they're obsolete, made so by the establishment of a privacy market.

Even simpler: Privacy is not a right. You don't get it for free. Privacy is a product. You buy it.

Here are four mediums where privacy was threatened (threat in italics) and the solution was monetized:

  • WEB: pop-ups (IE pop-up blocker (SP2), Google toolbar, Mozilla)
  • EMAIL: spam (spam blockers, now in exchange, gmail)
  • TV: commercials (tivo, RIAA attempting to make it illegal)
  • RADIO: commericals (mp3's to downloadable, subscribable music)

Oliver nails it with this quote but misses the result:

Clearly, consumers are willing to pay a premium to be LEFT ALONE.

Bingo. And they've got the cash to do it, so the solution will be another blocker. At the carrier level, the OS level, or even a downloadable 3rd party package, something's going to protect your precious privacy and it's going to be private dollars that pay for that, somehow.

But it's not going to be the government, and it's not going to be the advertiser's own sense of ethics; they're not going to wake up tomorrow and realize they were real jerks about this whole "mobile advertising" thing, no matter how much you wish they would.

My prediction is that privacy threats, real and imagined, will be the next Listerine for technology. We didn't know we had bad breath until we were told. And then, we started swishing with mint rubbing alcohol every day.


Saturday, January 14, 2006

Strange iPod Nano Interference With Audiovox 5600

Take a look at this. I've always been fascinated at the "touch wheel" or whatever the iPod calls it that allows you to change the volume, seemingly without effort.

Today, it was even easier - I didn't have to touch the iPod at all, I merely had to put my Audiovox 5600 smartphone nearby and have it try to communicate by browsing a web page - it freaked out the iPod and made it change its volume all by itself, erratically.

I merely post this to inform, and to ask - "how do it know"?


See the video (WMV format, 1.3 Mb)

Note that the iPod was enclosed in a JamJacket, and the 5600 was enclosed in a Krussell case. Taking the iPod and 5600 out of their cases failed to reproduce the results(!) and the effect seems very range-limited; the phone must be right up to the iPod for this to work. Weird when it does, though.


Tuesday, January 10, 2006

One Hell of a Hot Dog


Click to Play (964 kb, WMV format)

I got bored waiting in traffic. A hot dog mascot appears. He might be a terrorist. The surveillance is on.


We Hate Economics, Give Us God

Arnold Kling, one half of EconLog (don't know if he's the Donald Fagen half or the Walter Becker half) finally blew a gasket that's been holding back what I've wanted to say for a while; his way might not have been my way, but I still see it, the frustrating problem that he skillfully dissects in "Why People Hate Economics".

Hardly anyone feels guilty about using tax preparation software rather than paying an accountant to handle their tax returns. Yet many people would tell you that there is something wrong with outsourcing tax preparation to accountants in India.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I'm not an economist. Plenty of times I wish I was, but I'll be honest and tell you I'm just a regular guy. But this regular guy sees that economics has a point. A point that transcends the simplistic notions forwarded and hoarded by society's mainstream like so many nuts in wintertime.

It's difficult, ugly, complicated, unemotional and at times unrewarding, but this regular guy sees more reason and evidence in the economist's way than in the political way, the religious way, the emotional way, and this essay by Kling goes a ways toward making the case. If you want to understand part of the difficulty in getting the message out, read on.

In this post (dated 11/2005, little stale but hey) Kling goes over the constant battle between the motive-based thinking (type M) that politics latches on - the irrational human desire to substitute in motive for context, but provides an easy answer to "why" events happen - and the often-confusing and usually non-intuitive contextual thinking (type C) that often provides little or no answer to the same, but more accurately describes the consequences of events.

Type M thinking treats political conflicts as battles between good and evil. "Our" side is wise and sincerely motivated. The "other" side is stupid and evil.

Type C thinking treats political conflict as an inevitable competition among various interest groups. Actors in the political sphere respond to incentives, just as they do in other spheres.

Plenty have heard me say the "I" word and it comes through again - incentives. They are not the same as motives - incentives are not evil grand designs, they are the treats that come down the pipe when the hamster pushes the lever. They are the difference between your child being fed nutrient-rich food, or the cheap stuff. They are the difference between buying a twin, or buying a queen. They are the stuff of decisions both big and small, and we all respond to them.

Sincerity, honor, committment, hatred, apathy, cowardice, these emotionally-charged words, words that politicians will use to incite your rage or proud patronage, words that the news will create to get you to stay glued to their station, these words embody emotions that are merely results of incentives.

I know several people that do not like that idea. They don't like it for whatever reason, but they will deny it up and down and I will never convince them otherwise. Motive, grander measures of emotional investment, and some kind of implicit "universal ethic" is at stake, not simply the atomic grains of survival. I hear, "why", "why", "why", as the key question. "Why" will not simply be solved by simple dispositional attributions, subject to well-known errors.


  • The gas prices went up because those damn oil executives are greedy.

  • He won't marry her because he's scared of committment, all guys are.

  • She got into a car wreck because she's a bad driver.

It's a fundamental misconception that things happen so simply, or with such an autonomous hand, as in the case of oil price hikes in the wake of Katrina:

For example, consider the run-up in gasoline prices that occurred after Hurricane Katrina. Looking for the cause of higher gas prices, the type M brain asks, "Who?" The type C brain asks "What?"

Some Senators, appealing to the type M brains among their constituents, hauled oil company executives into a hearing to ask them to explain why they raised prices so high. One might just as well imagine hauling people before a Senate hearing and holding them personally responsible for gravity or inertia.

Merely feeling the lack of an answer and possessing the hope that there should be one isn't reason enough to simply create one from past behavior and say "there it is", but it is common, and the only simple retort I have nowadays is to say "it's more complicated than that". Does anybody have time or desire to hear about it? Almost never.

The machines of our existence, the very tectonic, meteorologic, and biological forces that shaped the physical existence of our species has, until very, very recently been under the cover of complete and utter ignorance. Science has revealed the inner complexities of such things and promises even more insight in the years to come. (Relatively) new forms of social workings, such as political institutions, corporations, and other non-anomic groups that deign to hold some staying power in the social arena, are only now, in the great cycle of human events, beginning to wield world-shaping power that can be witnessed in a single generation; ignorance of their power, the very power of the distribution of resources, is only now being fundamentally expunged through economics.

Yet to the common man, these type C fundamentals are not elements the language that is spoken by our politicians, religious leaders, and corporate spokespersons. They, instead, feed on our fears, desires, and unrealistic hopes for a better future or a simpler past, pretending to relieve us of the burden of difficult decisions we must weigh, incentives we must consider, and the understanding of a system we have only just begun to put in place ourselves.

I got a report from a friend that someone they knew became offended reading my introduction. It was a turning point for me, a point that I feel hasn't come often enough in my life; a point where I was glad someone's beliefs got challenged to the point of disgust.

Good. For all the people that are asking "why", and getting mad when people around them don't provide an easy answer, I wish for a thousand more disappointments until people begin to realize that terms like "good" and "evil", "right" and "wrong", "us" and "them" mean zero in a world that has become the very epitome of numbers, where understanding the function of the gears is, ultimately, more important than identifying the hands that built them.

"...We have what the anthropologist Pascal Boyer has called a hypertrophy of social cognition. We see purpose, intention, design, even when it is not there."


Saturday, January 07, 2006

Cell Phones, Comparison Shopping, Blogs as Critics

Smart Mobs reports on our friends across the pond using cell phone software, made by Toshiba and Sony, to check product reviews by snapping pictures of the product barcodes.

Important point, a centrally-held server receives the image, processes the image to gain a product ID. Then, the server scans blogs for the reviews. Blogs, not "reputable" review sites; I see that as the key factor beyond the whiz-bang of being able to essentially OCR a barcode off a shitty cameraphone pic. That's, like, something only the Japanese could do, man.

But I want to focus on the blogs part. Here:

10 seconds later, a summary is displayed on the phone screen reporting how many blogs were positive and how many were negative. The actual comments on the blogs can also be viewed as well as information on related products.

Lest you think we got too hippyish on this train, note the "related products" spiel. This isn't about sticking flowers in gun barrels, this is still about money. But to me, this is really giving a nod to a business use for the combined power of the blogosphere (is that still a word? do we call it something else now?)

This is an interesting mix between decentralized reviews, taking power away from the central clearinghouses for reviews that seem so prominent in consumer culture and monopolize mindshare, and add-on selling for related products that's been a bulletpoint for the "Why Your Crappy E-Business Should Have an Oracle DB" wackos for a while.

I like it, and I'd like to see it over here, but this is America. We have to have a long court, patent, and countervailing power battle about it first; we need to draw the little battle lines and set up our GI Joes just right, including that one with the broken-off leg but he's got that awesome grenade launcher thing...and this is all, of course, if the blogosphere doesn't decide to unite and proprietize (new word, call Wikipedia) their data format for "reviews" to squeeze more money out of the company doing the searching.

Unionized blogs? Okay, I don't really see it happening. Yet.


Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Dead Celebrities, With Special Guest Dick Clark

Not everyone's happy that Dick Clark brought his stroke-slurred speech to the party.

According to an MSNBC.com report, people had mixed reactions about Clark's return to TV to host New Years Rockin' Eve for the end of '05.

The tone of the article is mostly the Lance Armstrong-esque fighting spirit yellow-wristband stuff that makes people get mushy inside and I'll cop that many people have reacted very positively toward it.

But the negative reaction of two TV critics, namely Tom Shales of The Washington Post and Virginia Heffernan of the New York Times, bring me to an interesting counter-point to what most of us would dismiss offhand as just your usual vanilla glurgeshake.

Just how long do we want our celebrities to hang on before they expire?

Alright, alright, I know it's an ugly subject. But bear with me. The demographics of this country are changing, and so are its icons. On the one hand, we have aging but virtuous stars like Jerry Lewis, Dick Clark, and (if you haven't heard the outtakes, anyway) Casey Kasem. On the other, you've got the young crowd: a bulimic Lindsey Lohan, the Olsen twins, and probably that guy from The Strokes top the list. And, filling in the middle are all the freeloaders that think they're younger than they actually are. Tom Cruise, Michael Jackson, David Hasslehoff, and I think Saddam Hussein fall into this category.

Everybody wants to live forever. Barring certain religious nutjobs there isn't any one individual I've ever heard tell me that when all's said and done they wouldn't like to hang onto the chance to go snag a Whopper Jr. from the local Burger King for one more day if they had it. And TV's already gone plenty far in making that obsession look almost doable. Exhibit A: Dick Clark.

Okay, the pre-stroke Dick Clark.

You see, the pre-stroke and the post-stroke Dick Clark: not the same guy. I don't care what's in that guy's noodle, or what kind of spirit the man has, nothing matters but the shine on the outside when the Klieg lights go on, and - oops - his brass polish sloughed off in the operating room and now we're all shocked at what we see. He's old.

That's not allowed to happen on TV unless you're Ariel Sharon. You can chalk it up to being in a different country, but I guarantee that Sharon's stroke - just as with his weight problem - will not go against the popular grain nearly as much as Dick Clark's attempt at the resurrection of his Thunderbird hair-cream swinging father image so galvanized in American Bandstand did this New Year's.

The conclusion? You are your icon. If you exist on the screen, you are immortalized, welded to the very spot the public deems you closest to their desired, cherished, required deity, fixed in that instant, and to deviate is to risk utter destruction at the hands of the New York Times, drowned in a vat of public squeamishness about their favorite fountainhead of youth cracking around the edges. Death, it seems, comes before looking "awkward" in the pantheon of modern-day horrors.

You know what it is I'm saying. I'm saying that certain members of the public, those guardians of culture that tell us what to watch and how, would rather not see Dick Clark at all than see him as a struggling, aging human being because they want their fantasy world as much as any of us, perhaps moreso since their very livelihoods depend on it.

We might be happier if the choice was made for us to cut these idols off in their prime, rather than letting them linger about and get sick for everyone to see - rather than risk knowing our own humanity to the point that we can reach out and touch its squishy, bloody surface, we'd rather make sure nobody got old in front of us ever again.

We'd simply make them disappear, and, our minds, much like the Jungians say of a son mourning a deceased father, would forever gild the last image with shades of postmortem glory. Dead in their heyday, they would truly live forever. I hesitate to make too bold of a statement, but if these are the days of Kanye West, then I can surely say it outright.

They want Dick Clark to die.


Faithful Soldiers

Has anyone else felt that we owe a debt of gratitude to these lumps under our desks? Slate-gray, gunmetal, white, black, even IBM-future beige, they toil relentlessly, dutifully. When they complain, you know they don't mean it. When they break, it's nothing personal. They churn, crank, chew, and fly through algorithms, lists, tables, and, at the core, trillions of impersonal bytes of seemingly meaningless data, all without significant complaint (well, most of the time).

Computers truly have the right stuff.

I'm doing work remotely over my machine right now, connecting to another box miles away, and have been for the last five hours. And all that time, interspersed with cleaning and cooking, since a guy's got to get the housework done at some point, my computer kept the lines open, feeding me data about code, giving me the chance to tweak it, watch the results, and analyze in near-real time.

All the while, it's got my music library going, and I can tune it to any damn thing I want. I have 18 days of constant music on this thing, completely digital, and it won't stress, stall, or crack under load.

I'm an automation kind of guy. I like to make tools that run on a lot of things. Maybe not enterprise-level - we're usually talking under 10,000 discrete items - but watching it go is what gives me the cold chills, twice as much as when I'm seeing it remotely, piped over the VPN-rigged net, secure with all that good NSA shit.

I'm also working now with Visual Studio 2005, which, if I could take a second to slot kudos to the appropriate people, rocks. It's making my life easier, and I was just about to get skeptical. It's times like this that I'm glad to be wrong.

Monday, January 02, 2006

Political Apathy Disorder

So, on a recently-browsed blog, I saw the Journal of Humanistic Psychology's full print of Geoffry White's proposal to add "Political Apathy Disorder" to the DSM, effectively categorizing the inaction of individuals in political process as pathological.

You can get the PDF here.

If you didn't get it yet, let me restate it.

Political Apathy Disorder. PAD.

Apparently, some guy wants the fact that I take more interest in my own personal success and the success of my friends and family than in the skewed political process in this country to be indicative of some creeping, ugly, socially-injurious "illness" that requires rectifying in order to save me and the rest of society from dysfunction and injury; injury that I could inflict with my apathetic attitude.

I'm not kidding. Somebody out there believes that this society suffers from not just an attitude, but a disease, such that your political beliefs may be sufficient to qualify you for a trip to Paxil-Land, or at least a healthy dose of goddamned jingoism to perk you right up:

Psychopharmacologists and medication oriented clinicians reading this proposal may begin to speculate about how to medicate PAD. It is more likely that individuals with PAD are overmedicated. If anything is "prescribed," it should be more along the lines of participating in political action such as joining organizations, campaigns, and demonstrations.

Geoff, if my psychotherapist ever tells me to join a demonstration, the first and only demonstration they're going to get is me picketing outside their office to have their license revoked.

And watch out, it's not just your well-being at stake here! If you're diagnosed with PAD, it's everybody else's safety at stake, because your political inaction is exactly the same as being an unwitting accessory to rape, just like the case of Kitty Genovese, says White:

The famous case of Kitty Genovese—which led to the concept of the passive bystander—is a classic illustration of how minding your own business can lead to the death of an innocent person. On a hot summer night in Manhattan, Kitty’s neighbors listened to her screams as her rapist returned again and again, raping and beating her to death (Aronson, 1992). No one so much as made a phone call to the police to help her.The truly frightening story, of course, is how common these occurrences are in American society.

Right, Geoff. I don't see numbers there - how common is it? Or is it that you heard a heart-twisting story and figured - hey, I got an idea how to make a splash in the science journals, thanks Kitty! So, is being good to your family, friends, and other inner circle members enough? Forget it, Machiavelli, you're one sick bastard if you don't watch out for people you've never met:

For one, individuals with PAD often exhibit empathy—a quality lacking in Narcissistic and Antisocial Personality Disorders—for family, friends, pets, and others in their immediate community. The problem is that they lack sufficient empathy and compassion to compel action on behalf of those outside their inner circle.

Empathy isn't enough. If you thought you were just here to help others you cared about, think again. Your responsibility is far beyond that, and to focus inward on those you care for is not only selfish, it's diseased.

Real quick, here's how YOU can have PAD. Pick any four:

  1. Do not carefully consider the effect on others when making a purchase.
  2. Do not carefully consider the effect of purchases and lifestyle on the environment. (*)
  3. Focus on wealth, attractiveness, and social status.
  4. Base your self-worth on financial worth, social status, and material possessions.
  5. Do not get involved in social or political organizations that work for the common good. (*)
  6. Do not demonstrate the difference between moral sentiment and moral action.
  7. Do not be informed from diverse points of view about events, issues, and history.
  8. Do not vote in midterm and general elections. (*)
  9. Take elitist actions like living in a gated community or avoiding jury duty. (*)
  10. Talk a lot about what you intend to buy.
  11. Be politically conservative to the point that it reflects justification of suffering.

So you can have a reference point, I've marked the four that make me already certifiable with PAD above with asterices. Because I don't have any faith in elections, cannot in good conscience determine who the hell supports the common good, got out of jury duty once because I had to ship a product for work or get fired, and because I don't own a hybrid vehicle, I'm a sick fucker.

Oh, they heard me, too. They're knocking on the door. They're telling me I need to come along quietly. They're saying it's for the benefit of society! Folks, before I get dragged off, I need to warn you: You'd better get involved, because now it's not just the scorn of your more politically-involved buddies that's on the line, it's the entirety of the establishment and the weight of the entire organization of social policy builders, since now, you're a threat to society!

Guys, c'mon, the needle isn't necessary...